Loosing faith

16.54pm (writing sat on the sofa drinking tea munching short bread biscuits all dark, very dark)

The washing machine is chugging. I am loosing faith in this project. What did I think that I would achieve by writing every day for a year? I have achieved an even messier house and a lot of words and images that I am not sure what to do with. I am really looking forward to stopping this. It has been a strain. I don’t think that it has been helpful to my health and wellbeing. Running and walking are. Making art are. Doing something outside of myself is.

Beep beep beep calls the tumble dryer…must attend it is very instant…beep beep beep again.

I have achieved some tasks today. Helped a friend..tick. Given Syd some nurturing time….tick….Made Syd dinner…tick….spoken to the secondary school about some concerns..tick….taken Syd to the GP…tick…..shopping…tick…bought some seasonal treats, christmas pudding, mince pies, cheese biscuits. Buying a few luxuries a little at a time. Made room for the tree in the front room which involved moving all of the furniture around. It is a work of art making space for a tree in my titchy front room….tick…tick..hoovering tick….

Boring, boring…..Naoise at his friends. So will put my feet up a while before I need to make the dinner.                 P been doing loads of overtime so not seen him since the weekend.

Nice to be sitting in a slightly tidier home.

Naoise went to school in his diy school shirt today…..refused to play along with the schools christmas jumper plan for economic, ethical and environmental reasons. Wrote letter of concern to school about the excessive promotion of consumerism to our children. Felt better. Await reply.


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