Cut finger clean shelves and china

20.05pm ( at the table)

Phewwww I am tired. Cut my finger cleaning bits of broken china. I think I remember cutting my finger on the same pieces of broken china last time I did a spring clean. Open shelves in the kitchen are pretty to look at but the grease and the grime and the spiders and the webs build up quickly.

Naoise is eating basmati rice in a bowl on the sofa, he has dropped a tiny bit and is picking rice grains off the blue fleecy blanket.

Syd is back from band practice with his friends. P is being difficult and moody with me. Ahhhhh I hate living in a family sometimes. Sometimes I would love to be responsibility free. Twenty ish again. Oh the parties I would have. How busy we think we are before we have children. How beautifully naive.

Dreamt I lived in a house on a cliff over looking Sennon beach. The garden was too dangerous for the children to play in. I dreamt of rescuing puppies and kittens from rocks and waves.

I looked after my friends puppy. I took it for a walk. The ground of wet and muddy. The puppy did’nt want to walk in the rivers. The rivers must have been icy cold. Saw three Ro deers running on the hill.

P is about to go out to get a friend to mend Syd’s electric guitar, I am guessing its a night in on my own again. The days are long. The days are long caring for children. He takes beer, I doubt he will be back soon. I will be on the night time routine, as per usual.

Daddy, daddy……………….

Syd in and out the shower….no just getting in…ahhhhhh the music sounds the beginning of the shower.

P leaves, I don’t feel like kissing him goodbye. I will go out Friday. I will go out. I will relinquish responsibility. Childcare is endless, endeless.

N: Its a tripod camera, its a tripod camera. 

N: Can I put a bandage on mum.

Me: No

N: Please.

N:Can I have a hot chocolate.

Me: Yes. 

No time to write this… for children needed….always needed. Its better to be needed than not.

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