Days to get lighter

8.39pm ( sat on the sofa)

Today will be lighter. Yesterday was the winter solstice. Today will be lighter because Syd has done his gig so won’t be hyper or stressed or excited anymore. Him and his band were really amazing. It was exciting to see them play and be in the crowd with all the community. Andy Kershaw and his dog came out to support Syd, how brilliant is that. It was a proud mum moment.

Me and Naoise hid behind the chairs, put ourselves in the background. Naoise was delighted when his friends came in the pub. They played with his new thunder birds toys and drew and had fun.

Mum won’t be coming up to visit us again over the christmas period, she has hurt her leg, pulled ligaments falling over in a gorse bush. Very bad timing.

My brain is already dead from childcare. We got in late late late last night after a drink at my friends house after the gig….I drank tea.

What is there to say?

We head towards the 25th. Naoise is so excited. He jumps on my back eats his advent calendar chocolate, tells me how many days are left.

I bought one free range chicken and some cranberry sauce……I will do the rest of our grocery shop this evening. The local super market stays open till midnight. I try to make christmas a modest affair. I went shopping once. I hated it. Shopping feels evil and wasteful and wrong and leaves me feeling stressed.

The glut of christmas is unappealing. I like the story telling, the magic making, the cracker pulling, but I am not at all religious. Peace and joy and goodwill to all mankind would be great though.

The news is full of stories of refugees fleeing from war and violence, the biggest movement of displaced people since the end of the second world war.

The snow hasn’t come. The cold hasn’t come. The ice hasn’t come.

I did see three deer on a walk last week, that felt seasonal. Christmas becomes more and more of a fiction. Is the snow man extinct?

Its a clear day. Naoise friend is coming to play today, least he won’t be lonely. We tried to find a friend for him yesterday, he made me ring all my friends mobile and landlines before giving in.

No rain today. Blue clear sky. Cars frantic movements on the road outside. The chug of the radiator.

P finishes work today. I will be glad of some help with the house the children and general family maintenance.


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